Beautiful people make better journalists.

I've long known that beautiful people make better actors and actresses. Some ugly actors can still act well, as their manliness bolsters their beauty deficiencies. However, ugly actresses have nothing to make up for their ugliness. Since the 90s in the U.S., ugly actresses have been put on the endangered species list. Apparently, there have been breeding problems, as the ugly actors have stopped mating with the ugly actresses and the ugly actresses are dying out. In Britain, ugly actresses are still thriving and the U.S. is turning to Britain for conservation measures.

But it's a relatively new discovery in the U.S. that beautiful people actually make better journalists as well. Scientists made this important discovery when they put beautiful people in dark places. Surprisingly, their incredible beauty illuminated them in the dark. This powerful glow illuminates the difference between truth and fiction, thus allowing them to unearth stories and leads that ugly people cannot. After this discovery was released, journalism schools flooded with beautiful people. Amazingly, beautiful women are particularly adept at interviewing athletes on the field. Their beauty simply puts everyone at ease. This leads me to wonder: Is there anything beautiful people can't do?